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BComfy
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Name: B
Gender: Female
Interests: art, cabanna boys, travel, booze - and lots of it
Expertise: remembering to take the garbage out - yup, I'm getting good!
Occupation: blah
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/17/2007
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| Dear Mr. Giles,
This letter is very informal. It's simply a random thought that I'm having right now, after I read your newsletter home about the passing of Alyssa Bartraw. It seems unfair that a child of only the age six must die, but you took it very seriously and taught the kids at school a thing or two.
The letter you sent home was beautiful. I sat here and cried... for what you said, was basically that you had a mini memorial in the gym, with all the kids. How amazing. Kienna came home and declared that she was going to Alyssa's funeral tomorrow. She's going to make a card for Alyssa, and she wants to go to the funeral, because she knows that Alyssa will be in heaven watching her. People who die, never miss the funeral.
So, she's going to make Alyssa a card:
Dear Alyssa,
I'm am writing this note because I wanted to tell you how happy I am for you. My daddy died and he's in heaven. You are so lucky that you get to see him, and he is going to take really good care of you. I drew a picture for you of my daddy and you, sitting on a cloud, eating icecream cones, and you're both looking down on all of us... and you and my daddy are happy that everyone down on earth, are happy too.
Love Kienna Dyer
PS. Give my daddy a kiss.
Okay, so I coached her a bit with the letter, but it was a very therapuetic excercise for the both of us. And she is very proud of herself, because she feels strong. She wants to help. And it's good for her to do that.
So, Mr. Giles, when Kienna came home from school today and told me of the service in the gym... I suddenly remembered that you had the same type of memorial assembly when Kienna's dad died. I'm not sure if Kienna was there that day, but someone told me about it. I guess I feel like I never really got a chance to thank you for that. I was honored the day I heard what you did.
You make a wonderful Principal and I am very happy that my daughter Kienna, has such great role models around her. Mrs. Faulk was a pleasure, Mrs. Hurford is teacing Kienna to read!! And I'm so excited about that. And you're a great principle.
So, in closing, I guess I'll say thank you for what you do. Simple things are some times the lessons that children learn, outside of math and art. Life lessons are part of being a child too. You're doing a great job.
Sincerely,
Brandy Dyer | | |
| Oh man. My life is changing. Changing fast. I love it.
September 22nd, a day in 2006 where I suffered the greatest trajedy I hope to ever have. I lost my husband in a motorcycle accident. This year has been so hard that there aren't words to describe it. I've shed many tears and had many days where I could just crawl up in bed and cry. I've listened to my children, who also suffered major grief, talk of their daddy and how much they miss him. I've had to tell my five year old, what happened to her daddy's body, and explain cremation and cemetaries and funerals... and I've had to tell my three year old over and over again, that her daddy is never coming back. And I've had to work full time so that my kids don't have to eat Spam for dinner.
But today, I sit here, only one week away from the one year anniversary of losing my husband. And I'm excited. I'm excited that this year is finally over. Things are starting to get easier now. I've come into my own... I feel like a different person. A better person. I've overcome fears, I've gained more confidence in myself, I've learned a lot about people and mostly, I've learned about myself. I feel good.
This year, on September 22nd, I will move into my new house. I started builidng the house in April, and it hasn't been any easy road. There were a lot of out of town trips, getting estimates, finding better prices, bugging the trades guys... picking stuff out... blah, blah... anyway, I'm excited to move into that house next week, knowing that it was me that built it. It was me that orchestrated it. I feel like I've really accomplished something in this first year. And I'm so excited for my fresh start in my new home.
I'm okay now. I'm still sad, and I miss him, but I can do it without him. I'm glad we had the time we did together, and now it's time to move on. My grief will never leave me, but there are many opportunities for happiness out there... and if I crawl up in my bed and cry, I might let a chance of a lifetime go by.
And once I've moved into my new house, I am going to start dating. I'm ready for someone to sweep me off my feet. (I'm just gonna' speak with my shrink first to make sure I am actually ready)
I'm just really excited for the first year to be over, so that I can start on my second year - my new life. | | |
| I can hardly wait to get my new car and my laser-beam paper cutter and my house on the ocean. | | |
| THE LIST:
He’ll be good with the children, no, great
He’ll love me to pieces
He’ll be someone who everyone enjoys
He’ll be funny
He’ll be kind
He’ll be ambitious
He’ll be spontaneous
He’ll have a great family
He’ll have a passion.
He’ll have drive.
He’ll retire at 50.
He’ll take me out to fancy places.
He’ll dress up for Halloween.
He’ll be open minded.
He’ll love to travel.
He’ll be thoughtful.
He’ll be compassionate.
He’ll like great music.
He’ll love my friends.
He’ll love my family.
He’ll be a great dad.
He’s such a wonderful man. I can hardly wait to meet him.
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| Keiryn was riding her bike the other night with her cousin Aiden (who is the same age as her - 3)
Keiryn was behind Aiden when she yelled to him, "Aiden! Don't go over that bump or you will die. You'll crash and you'll die." I'm not sure how she meant it to sound, but it sounded cute. She said it with no panic in her voice at all. It's hard to say if she was thinking of her dad when she said it, or if it was just a random thought that occurred. I took it as a simple statement.
Aiden stopped his bike, got off, came over to me, and tugged on my skirt, "Auntie Brandy? Will I die if I fall off my bike?"
"No, Aiden. You won't. Infact, you can probably ride over that bump with no problem at all. And even if you do wipe out, you won't even get hurt. Just ride over the bump and don't listen to Keiryn."
Then he went over to Keiryn, with his hands on his hips and firmly said to her, "See Keiryn... Auntie Brandy said I won't die. Only Uncle Chris dies when he falls off his bike." Yikes. I hear them say stuff like that all the time... But that day, it felt like I got kicked in my stomach.
He got back on his bike and confidently rode over the bump with no trouble at all. My eyes had already started to well up with tears when Keiryn looked back at me and declared, "Watch mom! I'm gonna try it too!"
When she was riding over the bump that she was scared of two minutes before, I thought of Chris and how proud of her he'd be. And when she looked back at me, she had this great big smile from ear to ear and I knew she was looking at me to see if I was proud of her. I was proud of her. But for that moment, I wished that Chris were back again, even for just one second, to see her smile. I know that he would have smiled back at her. I know he would have.
But he's not here. And I let her down. When she looked back at me to see if I was proud of her, all she saw was a blank faced mother, with tears running down her cheeks.
Shit. Why couldn't I have just smiled back at her? I so badly wish I would have. | | |
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