| | Oh man. My life is changing. Changing fast. I love it.
September 22nd, a day in 2006 where I suffered the greatest trajedy I hope to ever have. I lost my husband in a motorcycle accident. This year has been so hard that there aren't words to describe it. I've shed many tears and had many days where I could just crawl up in bed and cry. I've listened to my children, who also suffered major grief, talk of their daddy and how much they miss him. I've had to tell my five year old, what happened to her daddy's body, and explain cremation and cemetaries and funerals... and I've had to tell my three year old over and over again, that her daddy is never coming back. And I've had to work full time so that my kids don't have to eat Spam for dinner.
But today, I sit here, only one week away from the one year anniversary of losing my husband. And I'm excited. I'm excited that this year is finally over. Things are starting to get easier now. I've come into my own... I feel like a different person. A better person. I've overcome fears, I've gained more confidence in myself, I've learned a lot about people and mostly, I've learned about myself. I feel good.
This year, on September 22nd, I will move into my new house. I started builidng the house in April, and it hasn't been any easy road. There were a lot of out of town trips, getting estimates, finding better prices, bugging the trades guys... picking stuff out... blah, blah... anyway, I'm excited to move into that house next week, knowing that it was me that built it. It was me that orchestrated it. I feel like I've really accomplished something in this first year. And I'm so excited for my fresh start in my new home.
I'm okay now. I'm still sad, and I miss him, but I can do it without him. I'm glad we had the time we did together, and now it's time to move on. My grief will never leave me, but there are many opportunities for happiness out there... and if I crawl up in my bed and cry, I might let a chance of a lifetime go by.
And once I've moved into my new house, I am going to start dating. I'm ready for someone to sweep me off my feet. (I'm just gonna' speak with my shrink first to make sure I am actually ready)
I'm just really excited for the first year to be over, so that I can start on my second year - my new life. |
| | Posted 9/13/2007 11:47 PM - 102 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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